Last Birthday and some more…

This post is going to be here and there, sort of incoherent. That’s what ends up happening when I don’t record anything for almost a year and suddenly realize that there are all incidents that need to be noted down before my memory fails me, for that happens more often than not. For instance, last week the partner and I were discussing something and the question of what I did for my last birthday came up. I drew a blank. I knew there was something about the day that made it special, but the mind refused to go back in time to try and recall even snippets. And it was the partner who finally aided my brain recollect it all.  So now, I want to go on record and say that my last birthday was wonderful.

The partner and I were driving from Boston to DC that night to attend a conference where my sister was to give a speech the day after. Right around midnight (I noticed the time only later), the partner pulled over at a service area. The dozy version of me asked him a million questions about why we were stopping, reminded him that we were already running late and I was getting grouchier by the second, and finally, gave up and closed my eyes letting him do whatever it was that he wanted to do by taking a break there. Within a few minutes, I heard the door to my side of the car open and there he was with a cake in his hand, wishing me a happy birthday. (Was there a candle? I am guessing there was, but I don’t remember. See, that’s why I should’ve noted it all down within few days.)Oh, that’s what the stop is about, that inner tube light turned on.

With the merriest of heart, I cut the cake. A cake that the partner had baked by himself. There were signs the day before, you know. He had called to ask me for a tiny detail about the recipe. He had mentioned that his roommates were baking something and they wanted to know. And I’d believed that. The thought didn’t even cross my mind that he was planning something so perfect for my birthday. A sweet surprise, it sure was. And there was more of it in store!

Once we resumed our drive, I got a call from a friend who sent big birthday wishes my way. How so very touched I was that she remembered, worked out the time difference and rang me right around midnight! And the fact that this was the first time I was talking to her made it all the more noteworthy (I had conveniently forgotten about it until now, how so unmindful of me.) I was ecstatic for the rest of the journey, needless to say. We reached DC really late and obviously, I fell asleep the first chance I got. Having gone to bed few hours before dawn only gave me an excuse (like I need one) to sleep a little more than usual next morning. The partner, though, I realized woke up way before I was even ready to open my eyes. He was getting ready to step out; I asked him where he was going. He mentioned that he’d forgotten something in the car and had to go get it so he can get ready for the day. Ok, I said and went back to my blissful slumber.

When I woke up a little later, there was a big gift next to me on the bed. Unable to contain my excitement, I sat up and unwrapped it carefully. Inside I found something I’ve wanted for months. A pair of boots! I remember going on and on to the partner and my then roommate S about how I definitely want a pair of boots for the upcoming winter. But I never bought myself one because any pair I liked I turned down because of the price tag. This pair was gorgeous. He shared the tale of when he went shopping, how/why he chose this particular one, and how he was sure I would fall in love with them. A huge grin appeared on my face and a few tears trickled down my cheeks.

There was a sign of this too, you know, only I’d yet again chosen to ignore it. The partner had called me to inquire about my shoe size the evening before. He mentioned that his sister wanted him to buy her shoes (he was to visit India in a few weeks) and he wasn’t sure what size to go for. So he wanted to know my shoe size given that his sister and I share similar stature. And yes, I believed that.

After trying on the boots and falling head over heels in love with them, I got ready to face the day ahead. We went to a café nearby to have some breakfast. And there, the partner pulled out a greeting card from his bag. The Office is one of my favorite shows and in that card, the partner had written out wishes from each of the main characters of the show in their unique style. What a laughter riot it was reading through those thoughtful messages for the birthday girl!

 The day was spent visiting museums, planetarium and just walking around the city. The phone was on silent for most of the day, which meant I missed a few calls from friends. Listening to their voicemails later made the day all the more amazing. The sister joined us in the evening and the three of us went out for a fancy dinner, which was my birthday treat from the sister. She had also sent a bunch of books as gift a week earlier. What more could I ask for! After dinner, I think we went sightseeing, a few monuments here and there. All the walking took a toll, especially since it was windy and cold, so we called it a day and headed back to the hotel.

So there, it’s all on record now and I can come back to it lest I forget it again.

Oh wait, did I say I was going to write about more than one thing? (I am too lazy to go back and edit the beginning of the post or the title. So I’ll just let it be.) I should’ve known better… no matter how hard I try I can’t ever seem put down only a few lines and let things be. It’s almost always going to be a full blown post dedicated to specific happenings. Weirdly, it’s just the opposite when I talk – 0ne can ask me the most open-ended question there is and I can still manage to answer with very limited words. Hmmm. Anyway, I guess this only means there are more posts coming up. Wait and watch…

Today…

…my sister completed her PhD.

She called right after she finished presenting her defense, and I could hear the exhilaration both in her voice and mine. I can’t help but feel extremely proud of this achievement of hers, as if I contributed in some way to make this happen. But, alas, I didn’t. It’s all credit to her hard work and determination that she’s reached this stage, which, I know, is a big stepping stone to all her future aspirations and feats. It’s not over yet… she still has few more years in school before she sees all her dreams take shape. But this is a big milestone, indeed, and words fail me when I set out to praise her for her success.

Congratulations, darling. You call me your safety net; I hope I live up to that expectation of yours and be there for you, no matter what, no matter when. I might not say this often, but you are someone I look up to in many ways. I take pride in being your sister, and in your joy lies my smile. I love you! Wish you the very best in all of your future endeavors.

I can’t wait to see you!

Last night, I called my grandmother as I usually do once every few weeks. She is hard of hearing. Our conversations usually start with me trying to let her know which one of her five granddaughters she is talking to this time around; and, more often than not, after trying hard to get who is on the other end, she just goes on to assume, out of the blue, which one of us is calling and goes with that flow.  This has never been a problem for me so far – as long as she is hale and healthy, I didn’t have a reason to bother her much by continuing to push the fact that it’s me and not one of my sisters or my cousins.

This time around, though, it was important for me that she knew I was on the other end of the line. For I had a news to share with her that I didn’t want her to confuse it as coming from my sisters or my cousins. So I kept at it – my efforts to let her know who she was talking to. And after a few tries, she heard my name right and I was elated.

The discussion began as usual – me inquiring her about her health and she explaining her current situation, beginning from what went wrong that made her go see the doctor to how it’s all rectified now with ointments and other medications. Touchwood. With that topic covered to my satisfaction, we moved on to talk about family – general inquiries from both ends on how other members were doing, and it is in the middle of this chat that I let her know that I’m to visit India end of this year.

There was a pause. I thought that there was a problem in the line; Paatti, I called out, to check if she was  still there. So you are not able to make it this year too, huh? Your father told me few weeks ago that you were planning a trip, what changed? Why aren’t you coming? came a dejected voice through the phone. I smiled and repeated what I’d initially told her, and prepared myself to say it again, when I heard a soft joyful squeal. When are you coming? Are the dates confirmed? How long will you be here for? … a series of questions came flying.

And, at that moment, I would’ve given anything to see the face that carried her gleeful smile. But I happily compromised to be content with the delight that I could so clearly hear in her voice. It made up for all these years of disappointment of making and breaking plans. And I’m sure when I knock on her door not so long from today, the tight hug that’ll follow will make up for years of shattered promises.

My grandmother was an important part of life growing up. We lived in a joint family setup for a good part of my childhood and hence, spent much more time around our grandparents than our working parents. Growing up with her around, I couldn’t have missed that one thing about that made her stand out and made me look up to her. And of all values I would credit my grandparents for instilling in me, if I had to pick one that is most important to me to date, then it would be what I respected my grandmother for the most – how she was the embodiment of a strong, independent woman. She’s always been a proponent of women’s independence, especially in the financial terms, and she made sure she emphasized and encouraged it in all of her granddaughters.

She moved to the big city from a small town after she wed my grandfather in her teens. In the city, with my grandfather working long hours to provide for the family, she made sure she utilized her time in a constructive way. She learned Hindi and Sanskrit, with my grandfather’s help, and then started tuition classes to teach the languages to neighborhood children. And with the money she made from that, she not only supported her growing family, but also made sure she put away some for her future aspirations.

Till date, at the age of 73, she lives in the home that she built along with her husband. She refuses to move in with any of her children, just because she thinks that will tie her down in some way. She has put aside enough all these years – her earnings and savings from grandfather’s earnings – that gives her a steady monthly income today. And with that, she lives happily in her own haven, by her own terms, without having to depend on anyone.

At a time when everyone around me, including my parents, don’t let go of a chance to remind me that I’m getting old and that my biological clock is ticking, my grandmother is the only one who tells me not to rush into anything just because I’m soon approaching 30, and to take my own time to decide, for getting married at some particular age isn’t everything. Even though, growing up and understanding better what went on in the household made my relationship with my grandmother a little rocky, my respect for her in some aspects remained the same. There are many things that I don’t see eye to eye with my grandmother, yet there is no better role model than her when it comes to her principles regarding women’s independence. And for instilling those very values in me, I can’t thank her enough.

So, here I am now, waiting for November to knock on my door, so I get to hug and kiss that person who has been a big part of making me who I am today. I can’t wait to see that shine on her eyes when we meet. I can’t wait to nag her to buy me kulfi that she’s denied so many times throughout my childhood. I can’t wait to eat the most delicious potato fry I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to let her in on the happenings of life. I can’t wait to take her along to the new home, to see her meet and greet the family, and to have her by my side, as I pen a new chapter of my life.

I can’t wait to see you, Paatti!

Happy Diwali !

Photo by K.

Happy Anniversary

Hundreds of things both of you do to annoy each other; thousands of battles you both fight – some together as a team, some against one another; millions of arguments you both have, day in and day out…yet, you’ve stayed strong together for more than quarter century now.

The secret to this togetherness? I ask.

The love that binds your relationship, the dedication you have for each other, the mutual respect that you share – that’s all there is, you say.

Wonderful !

Here’s wishing you many many more years of this harmonious life even amid all the seemingly endless disagreements. Happy Anniversary, Amma and Appa.

I love you !

Congratulations MTBs!!!

Its time to rub our hands in glee
We have something for you, dear MTBs
Little baby’s on the way,
Getting bigger every day,
Two tiny feet that will wave in the air
Two tiny hands that will tug at your hair
But before that there is some work for you.
The best we can do, is give you a clue!

Bravo to you on coming so far,
pat yourself on your back ‘cause you are a star.
It’s not over yet, there is one final twist.
Go to the abode of colors and lights, of the graceful mist.
And as you follow the clues, note down the letter
that shines bright in every blog; it will lead you better.
Once you have it all, type it in the address bar,
Followed by blogspot.com, to get to where we are.

Belated Birthday Wishes

Dearest MM,

Sorry about being a couple of days late, but better late than never, yeah? You turned two on the 31st…and yes, that makes me proud . Belated b’day wishes to you.

Well, before anything else, let me be honest and confess that I had forgotten your b’day…if not for one of the lovely persons that admires you, I would not be sitting here writing this post today. So yeah, thanks much to her for noticing and letting me know. .

You were born on new year’s eve two years ago…out of boredom, I must tell you , maybe combined with a little bit of inspiration, but still, boredom’s the main reason you are here today . But, hey, see what it has led to…a wonderful you! It’s been quite a journey, the past two years, hasn’t it?

And I am the one person who has a lot to thank you for…but I don’t even know where to start.

You’ve always been there for me…be it a gloomy day or a happy day. I don’t know if you were ever able to understand, but you never let that be a problem – you always invite me to vent it all out to you on the hardest of days, share all the happiness on the brightest of days and everything in between. Thank you for that.

You’ve helped boost my confidence about myself…I’ve gone from being an I-cannot-express-myself person to an I-can-try-to-get-my-thoughts-through being – you make me believe in myself when everything else seems to fail. Thank you for that.

You’ve led me to discover a new side of myself…I wouldn’t know I could do certain things if it weren’t for you – you bring out a whole new facet of me that I did not even know existed. Thank you for that.

You’ve opened a new door for me to meet some wonderful people…people who encourage me, people who lend a helping hand when I fall apart, people who make my day with the kindest words they say, people who smile wholeheartedly when I am happy – without you, I wouldn’t have had the chance to welcome these beautiful souls into my life. Thank you for that.

And there are many more reasons why I must be thankful, but I will save those for the birthdays to come. .

I love you…after all, you are a part of who I am, so how can I not?

I wish you all the best…may there be many many more such years to come.

Happy Birthday, my dearest blog.

Much love,
Titaxy.

Special thanks to everyone that reads this page. It won’t be what it is if not for you readers. .