Today…

…my sister completed her PhD.

She called right after she finished presenting her defense, and I could hear the exhilaration both in her voice and mine. I can’t help but feel extremely proud of this achievement of hers, as if I contributed in some way to make this happen. But, alas, I didn’t. It’s all credit to her hard work and determination that she’s reached this stage, which, I know, is a big stepping stone to all her future aspirations and feats. It’s not over yet… she still has few more years in school before she sees all her dreams take shape. But this is a big milestone, indeed, and words fail me when I set out to praise her for her success.

Congratulations, darling. You call me your safety net; I hope I live up to that expectation of yours and be there for you, no matter what, no matter when. I might not say this often, but you are someone I look up to in many ways. I take pride in being your sister, and in your joy lies my smile. I love you! Wish you the very best in all of your future endeavors.

The Home that was and the Home that is

It’s been two months now since I left beloved Boston.

 Given Boston was home to me in every sense;  given the amount of tears I shed at the thought of leaving that place; given the time I spent thinking of how poetic a city I was saying goodbye to –  I should say that I’ve adapted well to the new home.

BUT… I miss Boston.

I miss the coffee shops we frequented. There was this one particular café where one of the waiters was generous enough to smile at most people but me. Every time we went there, I would make sure I made eye contact with him as many times as possible just so I can smile at him and wait for him to reciprocate. (No, he was not a handsome young man I was determined to flirt with; I usually smile at anyone I make eye contact with and I like it when the other person responds). I kept trying, determined not to give up, all the while entertaining K with my failed attempts. Everyone has a breaking point and it was only a matter time before one of us reached ours. One fine evening, we entered the café, ordered the usual, settled down in our seats and I looked around so I can start my most favorite activity – terrorizing that poor soul, as K would put it.  I spotted him. I smiled. And lo and behold, his lips slightly curled into a smile! From that day on our secret game saw its end and he stuck to that grin. He never properly smiled at me, but the shy grin that escaped, the one that he could no longer keep hidden was prize enough. Had I met him before leaving, I don’t know if I would’ve smiled. How do you smile a smile that says goodbye? It so happened though that the last few times we were there, he was not around. And I never got to see how I would have bid him farewell.

I miss the long walks. The numerous times I’ve walked home after work instead of taking the train just because… Trying hard not to sway to the tune of the powerful seaside wind. Reading a book as I walked, but then switching to listening to songs as the sun went down. Watching the full moon rise behind the horizon. Taking a stroll along the riverside; sitting on the bench and dipping toes into the Charles to check how cold the water was. Walking around in Cambridge – the sights, the sounds, the people!

I miss Boston Commons. How much entertainment the squirrels there provided! The skating rink where children gathered around in summer to splash in the water – little feet running around, or trying to swim. Going through the Public Gardens; stopping every few seconds to take in the colors of all the flowers in the spring or to listen to a street musician performing with his heart and soul.

I miss taking the T. I miss aimlessly strolling in the downtown area during lunch hour. I miss the market where I bought flowers from all summer. I miss my favorite restaurants. I miss the bookshops. I miss the evening walks through Newbury St. I miss the museums and the aquarium. I miss going to the North End during the weekends and being amazed at how much traffic that one bakery got. I miss the movie theater. I miss…

I miss Boston. BUT…

Life in the new home has its own beauty and charm.

I wake up every morning to a smile that brightens my day. The other thing that invariably adds color to my day is the greenery…both around the office and home. Birds chirping, crickets creaking, deers and rabbits sharing the trails, fireflies lighting up all around…a nature lover’s paradise! And then there are the thunderstorms – they have gained a special spot in my heart, I tell you. I’ve always loved rain – aahhh, the scent of earth drenched in rain!   And, it looks like, thunderstorms double the delight, even though the noise scares me to no end.

Lying on the hammock, taking in the crisp scent of pouring rain, reading a book and running to find company as soon as I hear a big thunder crash – all this while the other person is busy performing culinary experiments – Bliss! And that is exactly what life has been the past couple of months. Touchwood.

(Oh, did I mention, we have been frequenting one of the best coffee shops here and I’ve found a barista at that café here who refuses to smile? (although this person, I believe, doesn’t smile at anyone).  Let the game begin!)

Happy Anniversary

Hundreds of things both of you do to annoy each other; thousands of battles you both fight – some together as a team, some against one another; millions of arguments you both have, day in and day out…yet, you’ve stayed strong together for more than quarter century now.

The secret to this togetherness? I ask.

The love that binds your relationship, the dedication you have for each other, the mutual respect that you share – that’s all there is, you say.

Wonderful !

Here’s wishing you many many more years of this harmonious life even amid all the seemingly endless disagreements. Happy Anniversary, Amma and Appa.

I love you !

Three months…

…since my best friend Sri left me :-( .

This is for you, sweetheart. I miss you !

Life was so promising, so new…
Until the day you decided to bid adieu
Life is now so dull, so blue…
And I still can’t believe all this is true.

You were part of my life, my dream, my hope,
And with you gone, everything has lost its scope.

I walk down the memory lane,
hoping to find peace again…
The eyes fail to contain
because all that the heart feels is pain.

Come back and let this all be a bad dream
Else the heart will never heal but just scream.

The Comedy of Errors…

…is what kept me away from home last evening. Yupe, went to see this Shakespearean play at the Common yesterday. It was fun, this being my first theater experience in the US and all. The performance was amazing, weather was perfect, and all this for free.

What more can one ask for, you are thinking, right?

Well, just a little bit of ‘keep your mouth shut’ exercise when the play is going on, I must say.

There was this bunch of people sitting behind us chatting with one another non-stop…especially about how they don’t understand what’s going on and how it’s all just too confusing.

To the smarty-pant bunch,


If you don’t understand or don’t seem to like it, then leave. Yeah, it’s as simple as that. Don’t sit around saying ‘Kya Shakespeare, kya comedy. I don’t get it. Blah Blah.’ That just makes you sound like an ill-mannered idiot. Yes, that’s right. Besides, it makes it hard for the others sitting around you to concentrate on something they like and enjoy. So stop yapping and leave. Just leave. Good for you, good for us!


Thanks (NOT!).

Anyway…yeah, I had a great experience, overall.

———

Now to what I, apparently, did while watching the play (‘apparently’ because I do not recall doing it. :( ).

After the play, as I was getting up to leave, I realized that my legs were buried under grass. Ok fine, I might be exaggerating it a bit, but there really was soooo much grass on me, if not me being buried in it. And the only logical thing that seemed to me at that time was to blame SB for doing it. Because he was the one sitting next to me, so I immediately assumed he did it. I went on and on accusing the man every 2 seconds as and when I saw ants crawling on me.

Me blaming him for doing it and him claiming he didn’t do it went on until he explained how I could’ve done it to myself without realizing what I was doing.

HUH?’ I thought.

He said that I might have been too engrossed in the play, just as he was, and might not have consciously registered that I pulled out all the grass around me just to decorate my otherwise plain lap and legs.

As much as that clarification made sense to me, it just makes me sad. My tiny little brain can only remember pulling out 2 grasses. Yes, it remembers two, exactly two, no more. It can’t remember the two thousand that were merrily resting on me :-( .

Bah. I’m just hopeless!

Mother’s Day and Belated Birthday Wishes to Mom

Note: This might be an incoherent post. I’m v sleepy and tired as I write this, but I know for sure that I will lose it all if I wait till tomorrow. So I’m just typing whatever comes to mind.

Dear Amma,

Wish you a very Happy Mother’s Day and belated Happy Birthday !

I don’t know where to start, Ma…You amaze me a lot.  How can you love us so unconditionally? How can you keep giving without expecting anything in return? How can you manage to put our wishes before yours? How do you do all that? Where do you get so much patience to put up with us? You are a such a sweetheart !

You taught me what being a friend really means… You are one of my best friends. I discuss every damn thing with you and it doesn’t feel awkward at all. Yeah sure we don’t see eye to eye on many things, but that doesn’t matter, does it? You still make it so easy for me to tell you anything and everything. I never have to think twice before opening up to you. I don’t worry about being judged or whatever because I know that even if you don’t agree with me, you will understand where I’m coming from and support me all you can.

You make my day with just a smile of yours… Every time you ask me to go to the temple with you, I say that I don’t believe in God and you get upset. You start lecturing that I shouldn’t be this way and all that. And when I interrupt your non-stop ramble with a ‘no one can be a God figure to me but you’ comment, you can’t help but smile. I don’t know which bollywood movie I picked up that line from, but I mean it – the word God only brings you to my mind. No, you don’t stop the lecture on the Supernatural Being, not at all. But for a moment there I see so much content in that wide grin on your face. And that is all I need to make my day.

And yeah… How can I forget the one thing that irritates you the most, the one thing I use to tease you so often. It’s when I tell you that I’m your favorite of us all because I’m the first born. I take pleasure in harassing you (and my sisters) with it all the time. There might not be any truth to it, but somehow it makes me feel special, so I say it. You’ve been so tolerant and have put up with this nonsense of mine for many years now. Anyway, it doesn’t matter to me how you feel when I do this to you, but I’m going to continue bringing this up till the day you finally give up and agree that I’m right. Because deep down, both of us know that it’s true. Don’t worry, we can come up with a way to explain to my sisters that they just have to suck it up and let me be Amma’s favorite. I’m sure they will understand if we put it right.

I know that I haven’t been a good kid all the time. And whenever I apologize for something, all you say is ‘Don’t be sorry. You are going to go through the same when you have kids. Justice will be served.’ But then why wait till then? I was / am a lot of trouble at times, I have hurt you a lot (unintentionally) and for all that I am truly sorry.

Amma, I want you to know that it’s my turn now. Although I can’t even come close to doing all the things you’ve done for me (us), I want to do all that I can hereafter to make your dreams come true. I want you to know that I support and will standby your every desire. I will be there for you no matter what, just like you’ve always been there for me all my life. It’s your time to enjoy life now. Whatever your plans for your future, I will make sure I do everything I can to make it all possible. Sit back and relax…

I had so many things in mind to write about, but by the time I got the time to pen down my thoughts, I lost most of it.  Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I treasure you, your love. You are my strength, my support system. I wouldn’t have come this far if it weren’t for you…You mean the world to me. I know all that you’ve been through and for that I’m so thankful.

I love you, Amma.

Yours,
T.