Archive for November, 2009
I do. I always check my spam folder before I delete those unwanted emails…just to make sure I don’t get rid of anything important. And, believe it or not, I have actually found few non-junk mails from the junk folder.
Like the one I recovered today.
I was going thru the junk mail folder so I can empty it, when one mail among the many others stood out. Only a glance at the unread email, I had a feeling it’s from a long lost friend. And as it turns out, it really is from her. An old old old close friend of mine. All these years, I had tried v hard to find her contact info. I had created accounts on facebook, orkut etc. with the hopes of finding her. But I never did…and I eventually gave up and even deleted those accounts. I had asked about her to other common friends of ours, but no one ever had any info to share.
So I was only left with little to no hope of ever talking to her again.
And today, out of the blue, I see an email from her on my spam folder.
What can I say? I’m so happy. I can’t wait to get back in touch.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
A simple marriage it was…like I always wanted. Close family and friends to bless the couple. Happy bride – yes me. Happier groom – he better be. And extremely pleased parents, who were running around like they were speedsters – yes it did look like they had that superpower.
It all happened so fast…everything from waking up that morning to getting ready, from reaching the temple to becoming someone’s wife…it was over in a blink of an eye. But I enjoyed it thoroughly. I didn’t care how pretty I looked, it didn’t bother me that not all relatives approved of this, I didn’t get cold feet and it didn’t matter that I did not have a big fancy wedding. Because I was sure this was something that would last forever. The bond. The love. The marriage. And that is all I ever wanted.
It was just perfect. Our parents were on cloud nine, we were smiling all the way, our siblings were excited and everyone present for the event blessed us with all the good wishes.
What more could one ask for? – Oh what about a photographer so I can share some pics, right?
There was no professional photographer; just a friend walking around taking snaps of whatever she thought were moments to remember. And right when it was time for the couple to walk around the fire, the friend somehow managed to drop the camera into that fire. Yupe, it was that dramatic. Anyway, so there aren’t any pics except for the ones friends / family took using their phone camera…and you know how not-so-clear those low-resolution photos can be. So basically I don’t have any snaps to share…except for that mental picture I have of the day. It will always remain in my mind crystal clear. And that is be more than enough to make up for any digital print.
Apparently, I am now a wife. A daughter-in-law. A sister-in-law and what not. Oh well, I can’t complain. I’m happy. 🙂
My dear readers, please don’t get upset with me that I did not invite or even put up a simple message here regarding this whole thing. I would have if I had had more time or if I had had a chance to wake up, write a post and go right back to sleep to continue with the dream where I was a happy bride. But I did not. And for that I apologize. 😆
When it is time for the real deal, I promise I will find a few minutes to let you all know. Ok? 😛
So what do you think? Now that I’ve started having dreams about getting married, what next? 😛 If a nosy relative read this, I’m sure he/she would say it is high time for me to tie the knot and pop out babies. So I think I will keep this to myself (and my blog) as of now…no letting the relatives know of my dream, not yet.
A floral fragrance filled room that was more than soothing and relaxing. A cozy little bed with warm comforter and fluffy pillows on it. A side table with three books, a laptop and snacks for entertainment and such.
With all that, I couldn’t help but stay locked up in my room all weekend long.
I watched couple of shows. I read two books in two days. I ate whenever I was hungry, instead of following a schedule. I slept as and when I wished. And of course, I blogged.
That’s it…that is all I did. And it was fun.
A perfect peaceful weekend, all in all.
How was yours?
During summer this year, I hiked over to the summit of a mountain…probably one of the hardest hikes I’ve ever been on. Only 15 or 20 minutes into the hike, I already started feeling tired because of all the steep climbing. After that there sure were numerous ‘uffs‘, ‘are we there yet‘, ‘i wanna rest for a while‘ whines all along the way. And there definitely were instances where I was ready to give up and head back because it was tough, for my standards…and I didn’t think I could handle it.
But I kept going…because the view I saw as we were driving to the lake mesmerized me. And so, I sure wanted to experience the view of the lake and its surroundings from the mountain top. So there I was stopping every now and then to rest, to get some water and what not, but still kept going…even if that meant fighting that voice at the back of mind that constantly kept urging me to get back.
And the outcome? Satisfaction. Gratification. Pride.
Standing on the cliff looking at the wonder that is nature was unbelievable. The moment we reached the top and noticed what it had to offer, in terms of views of the valley below, I forgot all about the tiring experience that I had just gone through. It was all more than worth it. And I was proud of myself that I didn’t back out of this adventure.
Life isn’t any different than that hiking incident now, is it? I am constantly faced with all those hard decisions to make, unexpected twists to face, numerous not-so-easy steps to take and that negative voice to fight…many a times I come to a point where I get too tired to fight the fights and just wanna retire.
And it is at times like those that I try to give myself a kick and remember that there is always hope. That I am capable of facing anything as long as I don’t give up hope…as long as I don’t let that mean voice in my head persuade me into backing out…as long as I believe that the result is worth fighting for.
Because I know that it is the only way I can be sure to feel content at the end of it all.
If today were your last day on earth, can you, with confidence, tell me that you have lived your life to the fullest?
I know I can’t.
My grandfather once told me that at some point during our journey called life we recognize our true potential and then it is totally up to us as to whether or not we use it to give a meaning to our time in this world. And that not many do.
As far as I am concerned, I don’t know what I want to do or where I am headed. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely content with my current life. Still, every now and then, a voice pops up in my head and asks me if this is all there is to life. And I tell myself that it can’t be.
On the one hand, I’ve done everything so far in life to get to where I am right now. I can proudly say that I am now at a point which I had always dreamed of. And that feels great. I have a caring family, I love my job, I am financially, mentally, physically stable, my parents, my sisters and everyone that matters are happy, and all that.
On the other hand, I am not sure if all this will be enough in the long run. It doesn’t make much sense to think that, if I live to be 60 all that would matter to me then would still be the same – a nice home, family, job, etc. Something doesn’t quite seem right there. Because I know I want more than just all that.
I am not working towards becoming a millionaire someday…sure I would like to have it if it comes along the way, but money is not what I am after. I don’t dream of getting married and having kids to pass on my genes…sure I would like to have a family someday, but that is not all I want. I am no scientist material…sure I would love to invent something, but who am I kidding, I know I don’t belong the super genius crowd.
Clearly, I understand what I am not aiming for…but that doesn’t give me an answer to what I want.
All I know is that I want to do something that goes beyond satisfying my / my family’s / my friends’ needs. Something that would make a difference…bring about change in someones life. But of course, I still don’t know what that something is or when I will figure it all out. I can only hope that I remember I want to do something and I do it when I get to that point.
Please do share…have you recognized that potential of yours yet? Do you know what you want to get out of life? If you do, how did you figure it out?
Flowers bloom, snow melts,
birds feel merry in the arms of spring —
You are my spring, my angel.
So that is supposed to be an Haiku :-P. I read about Haikus here and wanted to try. Not sure if I did it right or not, so if anyone has more knowledge please do share. This was fun :-).
This is my entry for Carry On Tuesday #25 prompt – In the arms of an angel.
Sometimes I wish I lived in a world that was different.
A world where everybody is nice. A world where there are only happy endings. A world where people never have to taste deceit. A world that is full of people wearing smiley faces and open arms.
Because then there won’t be people that betray you. Because that way there won’t be a “friend” that back stabs you. Because then there won’t be anything called jealousy. Because that way there won’t be any fake feelings.
But, hey, what’s the fun in that? – I ask myself…and come right back to being content with the world that I am in.
That doesn’t stop me from taking trips to my fantasy land though…as SB always reminds me.
Every once in a while I like to believe that I live in a world that revolves around me.
A world where I’m smarter than the what I am now. A world where I’m the taller than most of the others. A world where what I say is always right. A world where all my dreams come true.
Because in that world everyone likes me. Because there nobody ever judges me. Because in that world I don’t have to do anything to please anyone. Because there everyone is honest, straightforward and kind.
But then, that’s just my fantasy land, remember?
Anything make sense? No? Good. That was the point.