A heavy heart

He was just another healthy 30 something guy with a normal life – work, home, fun, family, and friends. He woke up Saturday morning making plans to enjoy the first day of spring with friends by hiking in a nearby park. The day went by smoothly even though exhaustion took over towards the end when plans for Sunday were being made – calling family in the morning, playing soccer in the afternoon, relaxing during the evening.

Sunday came and it was already time to go to the field to enjoy the sunny afternoon playing the game of soccer with friends. Everyone was enjoying the game, as usual, but it didn’t last for long. They saw him fall and hit the ground only to lay still. Emergency calls were made and the ambulance arrived. A while later, at the hospital, the doctors pronounced him dead.

A son. A brother. A husband. A father of newborns. He was gone…in a flash.

It happened over this past weekend. I didn’t know the person – I heard about the incident from a friend yesterday on my way back home – yet, my heart feels heavy. It’s constantly been at the back of my mind since the moment I came to know of it and I can’t quite put a pin on what I feel or why I feel the way I do. All I know is that it’s unfortunate and sad, whatever happened.

May his soul rest in peace.

We hear over and over that the future holds no guarantees and that we can’t rely on anything but NOW, yet, somehow somewhere we still take life for granted. We fail to cherish the present and spend it planning and romanticizing the future. Why? I’m not saying we shouldn’t plan the future or that we should totally disregard it, but at what price? Where do we draw the line? I don’t know. Do you?

  1. #1 by celestialrays on March 23, 2010 - 3:12 pm

    T drawing the line could be different for different ppl. As long as you are living your life happily and are content with it, it doesn’t matter if you are working towards the future or living in the present… Just try and make each day count…

    hmm makes sense.. 🙂


  2. #2 by comfortablynam on March 23, 2010 - 4:45 pm

    You hear things like this and you suddenly look at all the plans you have made for the future..As you said we take like for granted, we go on planning endlessly.

    Perfect reminder to enjoy the present. Do what makes you happy now. Catch the small and big joys.

    Hope you are feeling a little better after having put this post down.


    yes Comfy, putting it down in writing did help.


  3. #3 by chatterbox on March 23, 2010 - 6:49 pm

    Such tragic incidents definitely make us stop and think over for a while.

    We all agree to the need of grasping every big or small happiness life throws our way with both hands, but does this feeling of saving and planning for the future stop at any point?
    Not really.

    The uncertainty of future makes present all the more important. I guess your blog’s catch phrase says it all; ” live life by, reminiscing the past…living the present…fantasizing the future.”

    Take care T, I hope you are feeling lot lighter and better by the time you read this note 😀 😀

    yeah I guess. Thanks CB…I’m feeling much much better 🙂



  4. #4 by Winnie the Poohi on March 23, 2010 - 8:23 pm

    I guess as they say.. live as if you r going to die the next moment 🙂

    yupe…but how many of us really do that? 🙂


  5. #5 by Nu on March 23, 2010 - 9:19 pm

    sure disheartening it is ! You know I really thought it was a fiction but the moment I knew it’s not I felt the pain..really ! A father of newborns ?

    Future sure could not be predicted but the present can be lived,definitely !Drawing line ? Um..is it really necessary ? Well,of course it depends on case to case..but that’s when loads of movies tell you that live in now and say it out today rather waiting for tomorrow !!

    Thanks for sharing this…we know it but we don’t bother to remember it !

    yeah, they (wife and him) had twins a while ago, I heard 😦 sooooo sad 😦


  6. #6 by chotusworld on March 23, 2010 - 9:27 pm

    Like Comfy mentions, its all about catching the joys (big and small ones)and consiously living life to its fullest.. like everyday were one’s last..



  7. #7 by Reema on March 24, 2010 - 12:00 am

    so very sad.. may his soul rest in peace and may god give strength to the family

    yupe, very very sad..


  8. #8 by Swaram on March 24, 2010 - 12:34 am

    Same thing happened with hubby’s colleague .. just replace the soccer with cricket 😦 It ws a shocker … he ws so fit n healthy and I cud nt get over it for days 😦
    But eh, even while planning for the future, we need to live life to the fullest @ present. Kal kya hoga kise hai patha!



  9. #9 by chroniclesofdee on March 24, 2010 - 1:25 am

    I just saw an accident which was no one’s fault.. Just wrong time, wrong place.

    I still can’t stop thinking about that person and his family 😦

    😦 😦


  10. #10 by Psych Babbler on March 24, 2010 - 3:09 am

    I’ve been hearing of a few 30-somethings passing away too…and some due to tumours. It’s quite scary and sad. I’m reading this post on a very coincidental day by the way…in terms of living in the present…I attended the first day of a professional development course on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which basically involves focusing on the present while being mindful that we will have thoughts of the future and the past going through our minds.

    “focusing on the present while being mindful that we will have thoughts of the future and the past going through our minds.” – makes perfect sense. one needs to make sure he/she doesn’t let the thoughts of future and past rule, which then will take away from ‘living in the present’.


  11. #11 by smartassbride on March 24, 2010 - 6:14 am

    The first thing I do when I hear of someone’s sudden passing is that I go and say the pending sorries and thank you’s.

    somehow makes me feel that here we are, with our grand plans and all and then things change in less than a minute and we wonder how we could have been skating on thin ice all along.

    yeah…we need to make sure we don’t take anything/anyone for granted for we never know what future has in hold…


  12. #12 by BlueMist on March 24, 2010 - 6:33 am

    A lot of things have made me cynical abut these things. Once in while I stop by and think what if I die next moment ? As much as I want to do it happily, willingly and all; it is still difficult. But yes a lot of it has changed. I am taking care more and more of today. Of course there is thought spared for tomorrow yet today is more precious than ever.

    and one thing is ultimately true for each one of us there is predefined time. When it comes nobody can stop.
    I know I sound like idiot may be but being on this side of loss makes you one I think.

    I have such thoughts too…especially when something like this happens and gives a jolt. Trying to live in the present without bothering too much about what is to come, that’s all one can do.


  13. #13 by justaroundme on March 24, 2010 - 8:19 am

    how sad…as you said we almost forget the “STOP” button that can be pushed anytime…
    as others have said already,it is a challenge is to focus and to live in the present moment.The key is to cherish our every breath we take …



  14. #14 by Jayeeta on March 24, 2010 - 9:58 am

    this sort of incident is not uncommon.. am a victim of such mishaps that happen in life.. the last 19 years I have been living with the question “Why me???”, “Why my dad??” … These questions baffled the 13 years old me… these questions angered the 19 year old me.. these question saddened the new bride and new mom in me… But I think time has simply made me realise there is no answer to these questions.. but just to continue living with the happy memories….

    I’m so sorry to hear this…many hugs to you! As you say, there are no answers after all…all one can do is cherish the wonderful memories.



  15. #15 by Sonia on March 24, 2010 - 10:31 am

    Oh no :(( Now I feel so guilty cribbing abt my silly problems 🙂 You are so right, we need constant reminders of this fragile life and to make sure we enjoy every moment in the present..



  16. #16 by maverickshree on March 26, 2010 - 2:20 am

    Its very true..Life is very unpredictable..and such incidents make us ponder over the uncertainty in our life..i don’t think we can draw any line against fate.



  17. #17 by Matt on August 20, 2012 - 5:10 pm

    I’ve lost someone too, just like that, in a jiff.

    You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. That is exactly why I’m not putting off, commenting on all these blog posts. Here is a 😀 to accompany all the sad smilies on this page.

    hugs, Matt


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