Life is all about choices…

…and I choose to be happy.

That’s simple enough, I tell myself; and on good days it is. Because it comes easy to me to find something pleasing and readily embrace it with a warm smile – Bright blue sky. A good book. Flowers. Spicy Indian food. A flock of birds chirping in harmony. Rain. Chocolates. Sunny days. Ice cream. Moon. Candles. Seaside breeze. A shoulder to lean on. Warmth of my room. Starry night – and the list goes on.

It’s those bad days that make it hard, because then even the nicest of things look gloomy. I find myself complaining about every single thing that is wrong with my life instead of counting the million blessings. All of a sudden, the lights on the path to happiness shut down; I get lost. And, after that, it becomes too hard to pull myself up from that downward spiral to sad land.

The problem? One simple mistake of finding fault everywhere when only a thing or two is making me unhappy. Not getting over whatever is the trouble and moving on, costs me days, sometimes weeks or even months. And it affects not just me, but everyone that I come in contact with. I sulk. I snap. I rant. I settle into a cocoon. If happiness is contagious, so is sorrow. Anger. Withdrawal. Tears. Frustration – nobody likes any of that. And I hate to be the person spreading it all around.

The remedy? To focus on one issue at a time, find a solution, and move on. To not group grief. To get on the road to happiness and bring my spirits up before it’s too late – because once I take one step downwards, it becomes twice as hard to pull myself up.

So, this is what I am trying to achieve these days – change the way I handle grief. It’s not easy, that much I can say for sure. Every little problem poses itself as a mountain, but as long as I set priorities and tackle one at a time, I think I’ll be fine.

Life is all about choices…and I choose to learn new ways to bend myself so that I seldom lose the sight of simple pleasures.

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  1. #1 by Nu on June 10, 2010 - 1:21 am

    1st!

    yay! 😀

    Like

    • #2 by Nu on June 10, 2010 - 1:22 am

      I agree..it’s all in mind..I agree that there are problems…but it’s the attitude that we use to look at it 🙂

      yupe…exactly 🙂

      Like

  2. #3 by Rani on June 10, 2010 - 1:33 am

    I like this. 🙂

    🙂

    Like

  3. #4 by viswajithkn on June 10, 2010 - 1:37 am

    i was on u r blog hardly half hr ago and u r blogging even now…some time zone u live in…will read it in the morning… 😛

    hmm…I posted this around 1030 my time. But I think it didn’t show up then for some reason…my WP acct has been acting a little weird lately 😀

    Like

    • #5 by viswajithkn on June 10, 2010 - 1:11 pm

      Interesting thoughts…I learnt this last year. Remember when I was cribbing abt work and all…I learnt that all I can do is be happy irrespective of all the negativeness around. It helps. Lot more peace of mind.

      yupe… 🙂

      Like

  4. #6 by Bindhu!! on June 10, 2010 - 2:06 am

    Its ok dear! Its natural to feel that way.

    But just ensure you don’t prolong those -ve moments. If you can get over it in a day, then I guess you are doing fine. Else, work to reduce the time you feel down.

    The toughest part is to realise where its going wrong. Now that you have identified it, your -ve moments will fly away!

    🙂 yupe…

    Like

  5. #7 by Priya on June 10, 2010 - 2:25 am

    This post touches a chord.
    Change is never easy… but i believe introspection and becoming aware of the problem itself is a great step towards change!
    ‘once I take one step downwards, it becomes twice as hard to pull myself up’ … when i realized this… I consciously chose to think of brighter side of things whenever i felt any anger, remorse, grief…
    Best wishes to you Titaxy 🙂

    that’s exactly what I want to do – think of brighter side whenever things seem to go down 🙂 Thanks, Priya!

    Like

  6. #8 by krags on June 10, 2010 - 3:12 am

    remember you telling me once about staying contended meaning more to you than being perfect …
    i never found “forgetting a mistake” easy … it never let me move on ’cause i was trying to hide something from myself and that was not possible …
    what i did was accept that i made mistakes. Which everybody do. Even machines are not perfect, i heard. And with mistakes being part of our Lives, there was nothing else to do than remembering not to repeat them again … Accepting that i am not perfect and trying to avoid my previous mistakes … That way , i atleast not beat me up again and again but bothered only about remembering what not to do next time. Helped me in moving on. Might be helpful for you too …

    Did I really say that – “staying contended meaning more to you than being perfect”? I surprise myself sometimes 😆 It makes sense though. 😀

    I agree. I don’t want to forget about a mistake and just move on. I want to learn and grow…from whatever life throws at me.

    Like

    • #9 by Krags on June 13, 2010 - 1:49 am

      You sure did say that … just the same way you now said that you ” want to learn and grow ” …
      “learning” is fine but “growing” ?
      Considering the number of your posts about ur bulging midsections, this intention of urs to further “grow” makes me … 😀 😀 😀 😀 …

      😆

      Like

  7. #10 by chatterbox on June 10, 2010 - 3:14 am

    What a beautiful thought T 😛
    If we choose happiness that’s what we shall receive 😀 😀

    Loved it!!

    🙂 Thanks!

    Like

  8. #11 by Varsh on June 10, 2010 - 3:28 am

    Your timing couldn’t have been more correct T…needed someone to say this to me…and you wrote it beautifully…Thanks 🙂

    🙂 hugs!

    Like

  9. #12 by Saya on June 10, 2010 - 3:57 am

    So true. all of us make the mistake of grouping grief. in fact i do it to such an extent that i end up forgetting what was nagging me in the first place.

    exactly. I’ve found myself way too many times in that position and I don’t like it a bit. So I’m trying to change all that 🙂

    Like

  10. #13 by Swaram on June 10, 2010 - 5:55 am

    Beautifully put in words T!

    One simple mistake of finding fault everywhere when only a thing or two is making me unhappy – I so so agree with this one! Whenever I am feeling bad abt something, all other things which make me unhappy play their games so easily in my mind!!!

    It’s so easy to fall into that trap, isn’t it? Takes a lot of effort to stop ourselves from grouping unhappiness and focus on problem at hand.

    Like

  11. #14 by Psych Babbler on June 10, 2010 - 6:17 am

    That’s a great way to be…to choose to be happy. To choose to be content. But yes, it is hard especially when daily problems get in the way…the other thing though is misery loves company…so you never know, it could be contagious in that you could be around other people who rant and snap and hence react in a similar way. Anyway, I do hope choosing to be happy works! Take care 🙂 *Hugs*

    I hope it works too. 🙂

    Like

  12. #15 by celestialrays on June 10, 2010 - 7:47 am

    wow that makes so much sense T!
    I ought to remember that the next time something or somebody pulls my spirits down 🙂
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I completely agree to it 🙂

    🙂

    Like

  13. #16 by Prashanti on June 10, 2010 - 7:52 am

    I have the very frustrating habit of being pissed off and irritatated at everything and everyone if there is a single thing bugging me. I become soo cranky and bitchy when I have a work thing due or am stuck in an assignment 😦

    We all do that, P. As long as you realize that you are doing it, and make conscious efforts to change it, you will be fine 🙂

    Like

  14. #17 by SG on June 10, 2010 - 9:13 am

    Very nice. We all go through this in our lives at some time or other. You are correct. When only one or two things make us unhappy, we mix them in everything. One of the ways I deal is to “compartmentalize” the problems and do not mix them with something else.

    yupe, makes sense. Prioritize, compartmentalize….no mixing and matching 😀

    Like

  15. #18 by noname on June 10, 2010 - 9:26 am

    Very well put! Whenever I feel down and beaten, I think to myself “with all the things I have or had, there is nothing I can complain about.” It is always what life offers you and what you make out of it. It is all about perspective. If you look at an obstacle / problem as a challenge; things change dramatically. Another problem is preconceptions. Nothing has a meaning. The meaning is what we attach to it and it comes from past experiences. Preconceptions force us to see only what we know already. If we can learn to face everything free from our past experiences and try to re-discover it, there is immense fun. This is exactly why kids are happy almost all the time. Knowledge kills our happiness. But there is a fine line between insensitivity and realizing that sulking for or due to the past does not yield anything. Life is beautiful if you know how to look for the beauty. Some people are born with this ability, others need to train themselves. If life throws a bunch of broken glass pieces at you, would you be mad or will you make a kaleidoscope?

    Nice post! Keep writing!

    I agree with each and every word you’ve said. You’ve put it all together so beautifully that I have no idea what else to say 🙂 Thanks for the insightful comment!

    Like

  16. #19 by The Ravan on June 10, 2010 - 11:04 am

    and right choice, i must say!!!

    🙂

    Like

  17. #20 by sands on June 10, 2010 - 12:08 pm

    I forgot the name of the book in which I read this thought “Whatever you focus on, becomes big” and I find this to be true for everything. If I focus on my happiness, I become happy, if I focus on my sorrows, I sulk, if I focus on my strengths, I feel the power………..

    makes a lot of sense…thanks for sharing 🙂

    Like

  18. #21 by Dew on June 10, 2010 - 1:14 pm

    makes so much sense T, isn’t? & I try doing the same …

    Lovely post it is…just lovly!

    🙂 thanks!

    Like

  19. #22 by Sonia on June 10, 2010 - 1:36 pm

    Very nice post Titaxy! I have started making a list of things that bother me when I feel sad and blue without realising why…it has helped me wonders! Especially effective if you have a patient loved one to solve the issues with you..My best friend’s Dad always used to tell us this Alnon prayer – God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

    Hope you keep smiling always!

    making a list sounds like an idea…i’ll try it. Thanks for sharing, Sonia!

    Like

  20. #23 by comfortablynam on June 10, 2010 - 1:58 pm

    Loads of hugs T.. and streangth..and warm wishes..

    Life has its issues and we have to face them as they come. You are dealing with them and anything we can do to help..we are here for.. Till then, hold on to things that make you happy.. and call for a sounding board whenever you want one.

    Again sending hugs and lots of them your way..

    thanks Comfy…thanks a lot!

    Like

    • #24 by Dew on June 11, 2010 - 10:21 am

      Comfy …me tooo wants 😦 & you are such a sweetheart!! You are such a lovely person 🙂

      & T: remember “WE” all are with you 🙂

      Cheers!!!!

      Huggggggggggggs 🙂

      hugs to you! Thank you!

      Like

  21. #25 by Pixie on June 10, 2010 - 11:16 pm

    I completely agree… thanks for reminding me again T! 🙂
    I loved ths post

    thanks, pix 🙂

    Like

    • #26 by Pixie on June 11, 2010 - 3:04 am

      I have linked this post to mine! 🙂

      no problem 🙂

      Like

  22. #27 by blommer22 on June 10, 2010 - 11:32 pm

    True, life is all about choices. Never been simple but still need to be made somehow. 🙂

    yupe 🙂

    Like

  23. #28 by Meira on June 11, 2010 - 12:48 am

    I agree with you. It’s difficult to be happy when things aren’t rosy, but yes, we can and we should work towards it. Hugs 🙂

    🙂 Thanks for the hugs, Meira!

    Like

  24. #29 by liveonimpulse on June 11, 2010 - 1:14 am

    Loved the thought .. and how we can make a conscious choice to be happy.. !! Thanks for this one Titaxy..very inspiring

    thanks!

    Like

  25. #30 by BlueMist on June 11, 2010 - 3:30 am

    Wise wise T. Hugs. and loads of them.

    I don’t know if you have felt; no matter how one tries; the close ones can feel your these symptoms. I am okay with snapping,ranting , anger any other means that reaches out. I fail to deal with when it comes to withdrawal. It makes me feel so helpless; I just want to sink with that loved ones. I know it is time to let them be and give them that space but still being at this end I can not just be myself and do nothing. Weird state if you ask me.

    wise? me? 😆 ok thank you! 🙂

    I know, Misty. It’s hard to see someone withdraw, especially when you want to help them any way you can. oh well…

    Like

  26. #31 by loginricha on June 11, 2010 - 4:48 pm

    Nice thought! I once was imparted with the similar wisdom in my karate class: Choice of making one mistake or three mistakes. Sorry didn’t want to narrate whole incident here so instead provided the link 🙂

    thanks for sharing…will read it 🙂

    Like

  27. #32 by Anonymously Disguised on June 11, 2010 - 9:53 pm

    Wow that was indeed an awesome post. We all go through this but yeah only the courageous tackles it the way you did. Hi5!

    Hi5 back to you 😀

    Like

  28. #33 by ajay on June 12, 2010 - 4:32 am

    This is so poignant but happy to know that you have chosen the right thing. I’ve been too through this many a times but each time I’ve managed to pull myself out of the gloom and despair. Sometimes things look more sad than they actually are when we think too much about them. I hope you come out of it soon. Best wishes from my end 🙂

    Thanks, Ajay. 🙂

    Like

  29. #34 by aniruddha on June 12, 2010 - 6:18 am

    Thats well put titaxy 🙂 I wish it was so easy to sort life. At present things are difficult 😀

    hope things get better for you soon 🙂 take care.

    Like

  30. #35 by Shilpa on June 12, 2010 - 10:38 am

    So so very true… 😀

    😀

    Like

  31. #36 by Jyothi on June 15, 2010 - 4:01 am

    Were u writing about me? Thats my question! I totally identify with this.Very well put! I really needed to read this. Thank you. 🙂

    🙂 Welcome!

    Like

  32. #37 by Kanupriya on June 16, 2010 - 6:17 am

    Agree, if we manage the art of “choosing to be happy” then I think nothing can bother us :).
    But the real problem lies in practising this art in reality. Good to know you are trying this route 🙂

    all I can do is try…let’s see how that goes 🙂

    Like

  33. #38 by binpin on June 16, 2010 - 2:54 pm

    I really needed to read this one today..You are one mature cookie..

    😀 No I am not…takes me a long time to learn such things. Hugs to you!

    Like

  34. #39 by Ramlal on June 16, 2010 - 2:54 pm

    New post…new post..new post…pleez.

    tell me what to write about 🙂

    Welcome!

    Like

  35. #40 by Winnie the Poohi on June 21, 2010 - 4:41 pm

    Indeed! happiness is a choice.

    I was thinking of this recently when I looked up in the morn and saw so many birds flying in tandem.. it was just so beautiful!

    We have so many lil joys to revel in but we never do!

    🙂 yupe…

    Like

  36. #41 by maverickshree on June 23, 2010 - 12:44 pm

    you wrote it correctly..and I am reading it on correct time..life has been hard for me now-a-days and I think I must choose to be happy 😀

    🙂 hope things get better for you…hugs!

    Like

  37. #42 by Disha on June 24, 2010 - 4:01 pm

    Very nice post..I really liked it 🙂

    🙂 glad you did.

    Like

  38. #43 by Matt on August 20, 2012 - 8:17 pm

    Like you said “wave..…highs…..lows……embrace all gracefully” 😀 Indeed wise.

    thank you!

    Like

  1. Happiness… « Mytakeoneverything

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