A year has passed…

…but it still feels like yesterday when I received that call that took you away from me. Time has flown, but the pain remains.

I wonder if life would be any easier had no one told me what happened. I would’ve just assumed that you were too busy with other things to be in touch. Wouldn’t that have been less painful?

I still wake up some mornings hoping I had a bad dream, hoping to see an email from you, hoping to see you online, hoping to talk to you, hoping you’re around. Reality hits and tears wash away all the hopes.

I write to you often about all the day to day things, just like I used to. And when time comes to type all those questions I have for you about happenings on your side, I realize that I won’t ever get a reply from you. Still, I do it over and over, week after week.

I regret not telling you some things. Why did I have to wait for the right time? Why did not understand then that there’s nothing but now? Why did you leave so soon?

I can’t see a future without you in it. Every time I dream about how things will be years down the line, I see you playing a big part in it, even though I know the chances are none. Stupid, I know. But the heart doesn’t want to accept the loss…at least not yet.

Life has seen many downs since you left, but the melancholy that gushes with every thought of you is the worst of all. It hurts. Come back, it’s not too late…I need my best friend.

I miss you.

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