Scary Nights

It’s nighttime, and just the thought that roommate isn’t at home bothers me. Yes, darkness scares me a little.

I had dinner, cleaned the dishes, filled my water bottle and locked myself in my room hours ago…that way I don’t have to go out to the living room or kitchen until the morning hits and there’s plenty of light. I read, watch a few episodes of FRIENDS, read some more, when I get this craving for milk. I tell myself that it will go away, I continue entertaining myself, I do this and that to get my mind off it. But that stubborn craving doesn’t want to leave me alone, so I cave in.

I gather enough courage and open the door. I see the living room lights on; my hearts starts racing.

“What’s going on? Roommate isn’t supposed to be back for another day. And even if she did come back early, I must have heard something – which I definitely didn’t. Why / how are the lights on? What should I do? Call security? Get out of the apartment first?…………………”

Million questions. Ten million answers. All in a matter of fraction of seconds.

I walk out of the room. Two steps into the living room, I realize that I left the lights on before going in. Just in case I had to step out of the room at night.

Phew! Relax! I tell myself. But, I can still hear my own heart beating like crazy…until I come back with the milk and close the door to my room. It’s all good now…heart is calm, mind is quiet.

I read, watch a few episodes of FRIENDS, read some more, when I get this craving…this time for ice-cream.

And the above scene recurs; ditto, frame to frame.

I am not too sharp, I tell ya. This repeating one or two times would have been fine. But I’ve been reacting the same way every single time I’ve walked out of my room in the past two nights. While my brain can spill out infinite number of thoughts in unimaginable speed when it senses something wrong, it can’t keep itself from overreacting. I wonder why.

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  1. #1 by revsjoiedevivre on August 22, 2010 - 2:17 am

    😀 You funny girl! Have I told you, I love darkness? I never switch on the light at nights. I like walking around the house in that dim light from the street lights thats seep in through the windows.

    I love love darkness too, dear. I walk around without lights when someone is home, only when there’s no one around, I get scared 😦

    Like

  2. #2 by zephyr on August 22, 2010 - 2:17 am

    Hey Titaxy, relax! We all have some such fears, or at least most of us have. Our minds react so because of some past experience which we might not remeber or even be consicous of. You keep doing the same thing over and over till it reduces and then leaves you. I used to have this manic fear of the dark too till one night when I was alone with my two-year-old son I realised that I had to be the ‘brave’ one to quell his fears. It worked and i have never feared the dark since then! Take heart!

    oh that’s nice… hopefully I will get over it sometime soon 😀

    Like

  3. #3 by Nu on August 22, 2010 - 2:31 am

    me first ?

    no m’am…

    Like

    • #4 by Nu on August 22, 2010 - 2:31 am

      that is such a fab header T 🙂

      thank you m’am 🙂

      Like

      • #5 by Nu on August 22, 2010 - 2:33 am

        hahaha…the solution in such a situation is be in the kitchen only 😉 so you don’t have to walk around the entire house for your cravings 😀

        rofl…thanks for the suggestion, that’s what i am doing next time i am alone 😀

        Like

        • #6 by Nu on August 22, 2010 - 2:35 am

          any way..jokes apart..don’t worry..you’ll be fine…it happens..has happened to me umpteen times when I was living alone in 1BHK for 2 years…I used to sometimes feel that someone has managed to enter my house :P..and it was freaking scary !

          I had also rehearsed a plan of escape,in my mind, in case my imaginations come true 😉

          nah, not worried and all 😀 just hoping someday i will get over this baseless fear 🙂

          and you are brave to have lived alone… 😀 and mind sharing your plan of escape with me ? 😛

          Like

        • #7 by Swaram on August 23, 2010 - 6:22 am

          LOL 😛
          And then crave for a book in the bed-room 😉

          😀

          Like

          • #8 by Matt on August 21, 2012 - 9:02 am

            LOL

            🙂

            Like

  4. #9 by Psych Babbler on August 22, 2010 - 5:07 am

    Aww T…I had to smile while reading this…I have done similar stuff myself. Will do something and totally forget about having done it and then wonder who in the world did it! 😛 I think sometimes our brains are just wired to seek out any signs of negativity or something going wrong that automatically we think that way and forget what we’ve done! 🙂

    😀 crazy minds 😀

    Like

  5. #10 by celestialrays on August 22, 2010 - 8:16 am

    this is so much better to seeing little blue whales in the swimming pool 😛

    thats what fear does to one… switches off the ‘logic’ switch first 🙂

    try to sing in a loud voice if you get jumpy, the worse you sing the better it is 😉

    aww, you poor baby 🙂 little blue whales won’t hurt you, ok? 😀

    singing idea sounds good …will give it a try next time 😀 …thanks…

    Like

  6. #11 by ~G on August 22, 2010 - 8:59 am

    😀 Happens to me sometimes too. Esp after I have just watched a horror movie. 😀

    it’s been a long time since i watched any horror movies…i should watch one and see what happens to me after 😛

    Like

    • #12 by Nu on August 23, 2010 - 12:00 am

      you girls are brave…horror movie ?? OMG !!!

      i used to love watching horror movies alone….but now i scare easy, so don’t dare to do that anymore 😦

      Like

  7. #13 by SG on August 22, 2010 - 10:22 am

    I think it is not the darkness. It is all of a sudden being home lone. Again, I could be wrong

    yupe, true…it’s not a lot that i get to be alone, so i am not too used to it i guess 🙂

    Like

  8. #15 by comfortablynam on August 22, 2010 - 11:29 am

    hmm..Since I don’t mind being alone day or night (have done in a hostel which is generally bustling with 100+ girls and not worried about it), don’t know what to say..

    But everytime you went out you could have called someone, talk on the phone till you were back in your room. 😀

    PS: Idea not mine. Read a blog post about this 😛 😛

    you’re brave woman, you know that, right?

    i used to do the call someone thing before, but im trying to grow up and get over the fear…so these days i face it alone, doesn’t matter how scared i am 😀

    Like

  9. #16 by viswajithkn on August 23, 2010 - 12:36 am

    watch a horror movie!

    good idea, thank you very much 😀

    Like

    • #17 by viswajithkn on August 23, 2010 - 2:00 pm

      do I sense sarcasm there?

      but of course! 😛

      Like

      • #18 by viswajithkn on August 23, 2010 - 2:03 pm

        rofl! 😀

        🙂

        Like

  10. #19 by mahmud faisal on August 23, 2010 - 4:55 am

    I have never felt like that!
    actually, very few times I’ve fallen to the darkness like that 😉
    listen, just don’t bother about. Keep yourself busy at that moments … no fear! 🙂

    yeah keeping myself busy is what I did 🙂 thanks mahmud!

    Like

  11. #20 by Swaram on August 23, 2010 - 6:24 am

    I ws never scared of living alone anywhere anytime, until that robbery happened and it shook me. For a long time after that, I used to keep the TV on in the living room, irrespective of where I ws 😛 It felt as though someone ws home with me. Funny thing is that I did nt even know what ws going on there, and most of the time the Help Channel used to be running for hrs lol 😉

    you’re a brave girl then 🙂

    I do the tv thing sometimes too. That works better in the day time when there’s light and for some reason, I am still scared…at night, the noise from tv scares me even more 😛

    Like

  12. #21 by anisnest on August 23, 2010 - 9:49 am

    this is like reading a past episode of mine… esp. that sliding glass door to the open backyard that is next to kitchen… I hate staying alone… the same fear is with me T not more not less…

    😀 yay, finally someone like me 😀

    Like

  13. #22 by ambulisamma on August 23, 2010 - 11:37 am

    Same pinch girl!
    Am like you.

    yay! 🙂

    Like

  14. #23 by Sonia on August 23, 2010 - 5:40 pm

    Omg you are just like me heheee and years of staying by myself with the hubby travelling have still not helped!! In one of my mgt classes, the professor had said Fear is just Fantasized evidence appearing real…so true na! Do you remember that movie Kaun? After moving into our new house, I had stepped out of my bedroom and looked downstairs and suddenly I had remembered that scene where Urmila M sees people and people all crammed in that house…….Eeeks…..so scary!! I guess I am not helping 😦

    i don’t know that movie..haven’t watched it, but will do when I get a chance… 😀

    Like

    • #24 by Sonia on August 25, 2010 - 11:03 am

      Yaa watch it, I had liked it but then dont give me gaali if you find yourself thinking of it on a night when your room mate is away 🙂

      i will watch it when i have company, and i usually forget movies / storyline pretty quick, so it won’t stay with me for long 😀

      Like

  15. #25 by alwayshappykya on August 23, 2010 - 6:19 pm

    Hahaha! Sorry for laughing at your frame-by-frame repeatation of scene thingy. But did you wonder ‘Why are the lights on?!” every single time over past few nights? 😀

    Donno if you are a believer, but in such cases what helps me is to tell some prayers ( shlokas) out loud. Makes you feel like that protective force will help you 🙂

    yes, I did wonder why the lights were on every single time. sigh. 😀

    Like

  16. #26 by chinkurli on August 24, 2010 - 12:08 am

    I grew up in a HUGE family, and now there’s just the two of us at home. Most times, A comes home from work very late. Things used to be fine when I was working fulltime…but now that I work from home, I get bored alone, and spooked out towards the night, especially when I hear loud noises. For some reason I believe thieves/murderers will choose my flat over the others in the building. So I keep the TV on all the time…or, as you do, watch random sitcoms till he comes!

    good to know that I am not alone 😀

    Like

  17. #27 by piyu on August 24, 2010 - 12:48 am

    Lol 🙂 🙂

    I get scared of darkness, once in a while too!

    😀

    Like

  18. #28 by chroniclesofdee on August 24, 2010 - 1:46 am

    Recently, I went to sleep with a kitchen knife and a huge stick because the DH was traveling and it was raining like crazy! I had crazy scenarios where the rain will muffle the noises made by a killer 😛

    ok, im not the only paranoid one 😀

    Like

    • #29 by Sonia on August 25, 2010 - 11:05 am

      Omg, one of my friends used to keep a knife under her pillow when she was alone at night in the house…I am sure I would kill myself by mistake if I did that…Brave Dee 🙂

      i haven’t reached that stage yet…i don’t need a knife under my pillow, at least not until now 🙂

      brave, Dee indeed…i am sure I would be more concerned about the knife too 😀

      Like

  19. #30 by nuttie natters on August 24, 2010 - 2:38 am

    when i was a kid if i was alone- i used to take a huge vase with me to the bedroom. I had decided i could fight robbers but had decided in case a ghost came there is nothing to do but submit myself to claws of the ghost.

    😀 do you still do that or have you gotten over the fear? 😀

    Like

  20. #31 by binpin on August 24, 2010 - 7:15 pm

    Omg..this is my scenario when I’m home alone too:(..and a week ago hubby woke me up around 3am to ask why the light was on in the hall ..I got up with a jolt and realized that he might have just forgotten to turn it off !!…

    😀 i have a lot of company 😀

    Like

  21. #32 by DI on August 25, 2010 - 1:54 am

    Oh God! I switch on all the lights and the TV whenever i am alone at home! Cant stand it! Forget home, when I was godforsaken Basel, I would switch on some random German programme, even if I did not know what it was about, just to have some noise around me!

    😀

    Like

  22. #33 by liveonimpulse on August 25, 2010 - 4:06 am

    lol.. i am terrified of pitch darkness too ..my imagination plays havoc at such times !!

    😀

    Like

  23. #34 by kragsr on August 25, 2010 - 4:10 am

    not interested in meeting ghosts ?

    rofl…no, thank you…it’s weird actually – i don’t believe in ghosts, but im easily scared by them, though 😀

    Like

  24. #35 by Vidya on August 25, 2010 - 5:42 am

    The eerie quiet when no one is around unsettles me more than the darkness! Even the smallest sound (like the clock tick, refrigerator hum) seems too loud! Move the milk and microwave to your room, or move your bed to the kitchen:)

    exactly… 🙂

    yeah, doing some moving around is the plan for next time when I am alone 😛

    Like

  25. #36 by tan on August 25, 2010 - 7:42 am

    I get paranoid after I watch a horror movie or read a scary book. I imagine some of the situations I see or read and place myself as a character in that situation. Its ok. You can et over it.!! Relax 🙂

    yupe, that happens too 😀

    Like

  26. #37 by Elegant Chic on August 25, 2010 - 1:34 pm

    Hehehe
    Same pinch!!!!! 😀

    😀

    Like

  27. #38 by Pallavi on August 29, 2010 - 4:37 pm

    Awww, I can totally empathise with you on this. I had this phobia of empty rooms for AGES!!!! My little son drew me out of this, because when he started to get scared, I had no choice but to PRETEND to be brave 🙂

    😀 I have to find a reason to start pretending then 😀

    Like

  28. #39 by Matt on August 21, 2012 - 9:06 am

    Second amendment rights. Carry a firearm 😀

    LOL

    Like

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