Of laughing and crying

I believe that if I laugh a lot then I’ll end up crying soon. I’ve observed that many times; it really happens.  People say that it’s all in my mind, that I somehow make it happen that way. Maybe they are right…maybe I do believe in it so much that it affects the way I behave. It’s ok though; I think it helps keep things balanced. It’s a way to remind myself that nothing is permanent. To keep me from taking anything too seriously…be it joy or sorrow. To tell myself that this too shall pass, so don’t get too carried away. So I don’t complain. I laugh all I want when I want to, not getting all worked up about the future that’s eagerly waiting to pull tears out of me. And then I cry my heart out when time comes. Feels good.

When I was a kid, I believed that something really bad happened every time I cried – not just shedding a few tears, but weeping like it’s the end of the world. And it did, more times than not. This stupid belief was only boosted when my grandfather passed away the day after I spent the evening crying my guts out because my mother was running late returning home from work. And then for years I tried not to cry too much. But somehow, somewhere down the line, I stopped believing in this…I just stopped caring about it, grew up and didn’t bother paying too much attention. And, I am glad I didn’t continue holding on to it. It’s nice to cry without worrying about the consequences.

What about you? Any baseless beliefs like mine? Do share.

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  1. #1 by revsjoiedevivre on September 7, 2010 - 3:34 pm

    (((hug)))

    🙂 hugs back.

    Like

  2. #2 by Prashanti on September 7, 2010 - 4:00 pm

    I believe this too.

    Some more: Tuesday is inauspicious ( They guy hooked me to this one )
    Dreams in the wee hours of the morning will come true
    CANNOT take a bath on the day of the exam or it will surely go badly.
    have a lot more but will stop here 🙂

    about the dreams coming true thing – roommate and I were just discussing it yesterday 🙂 my grandma says the same, but I forget if it will come true or not come true, if dreamt in morning hours…

    Like

  3. #3 by anisnest on September 7, 2010 - 4:16 pm

    count me in… I believe very strongly that there is a big cry waiting while I laugh out loud. sometimes I even control my laughter to avoid the crying sequence and when the latter happens I would justify promptly with “I said/thought so”…. then i tell myself “at least from now on don’t laugh too much its not good for you”…

    yay, same pinch 😀 , although I seldom control myself from laughing 😀

    Like

  4. #4 by bitsofchocolate on September 7, 2010 - 4:59 pm

    Agree with the “what’s next” unsettling feeling after a day full of mirth

    I often remember two quotes from Gibran’s “On Joy and Sorrow”

    1) And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
    2) Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

    thanks for sharing the quotes! 🙂

    Like

  5. #5 by anon on September 7, 2010 - 5:12 pm

    :-). Next time, try laughing so hard and so much; there will be tears in your eyes. That way you won’t have to cry later to balance it out. 🙂

    I do laugh that way. I laugh till there are tears falling down, till my stomach hurts, till I can’t laugh anymore 😀

    Welcome!

    Like

  6. #6 by comfortablynam on September 7, 2010 - 5:15 pm

    Baseless..oh yeah..
    I had to wear this red sweater for every single exam in college..No matter what..else I did not do well in exams..

    To the extent I wore it wet to an exam at 9:00 in the morning while the temp was 0 degree C.. and there was no heater in the exam room 😐

    brrrr….brrr…brrr..

    😆 ok 😛

    Like

  7. #7 by Psych Babbler on September 7, 2010 - 5:31 pm

    First…about your belief…it may be baseless as you say but as long as you don’t get too carried away by it, it’s okay. I guess an example I could give you is one of my clients in the past…they had a similar belief…if they are happy now, something bad is about to happen in the future to make them sad. As a result though, even when things were going well, they were busy worrying about the possibility of them going to be sad that they couldn’t even enjoy the happy times! That’s when you know it’s a totally screwed up belief! At least you are able to see the whole balance thing…which is a fact. Life is full of ups and downs.

    Re my own baseless beliefs…where do I start?!! I think one of my biggest ones is I shouldn’t talk about something positive about myself or the way I do things because something will go wrong. The whole ‘pride comes before a fall’ belief. How did it originate? Well, I used to always stand first in class in primary school (till 5th std) and initially…like in the 1st and 2nd, I bragged about my marks to everyone…every guest that visited. And then, I got 17/20 in a science test and the world came crashing down. And I was told by in the loving Indian way that I shouldn’t be proud of my achievements that way…as a result, I went the whole other extreme and till date have difficulty praising myself or giving myself a pat on the back. I am a lot better though but it’s still hard! There’s so many things that lead to our beliefs….environment, experiences, family, culture, religion…I can totally see how you came up with the belief about crying and something bad happening!

    I could go on and on about this given that cognitive-behaviour therapy is about beliefs and unhelpful or irrational beliefs that need to be challenged and more realistic or helpful beliefs need to replace them…

    Nice post T! 🙂

    I definitely don’t keep myself from having fun or laughing or anything because of the fear of what future might have in hold…good for me that way 😀

    and oh , that sounds harsh…what’s wrong with praising yourself when you achieve something…good to know that you are working to get out of that shell 🙂

    Like

  8. #8 by SG on September 7, 2010 - 5:48 pm

    My expereince is if you strongly believe in something it will happen…be good or bad.

    My dad totally believes in that 🙂 And I do too, to some extent, because of my father 🙂

    Like

  9. #9 by Sonia on September 7, 2010 - 6:03 pm

    Hmmm actually for me, when I feel like I have hit rock bottom and complain to my loved ones about something, the situation miraculously changes overnight and with a good conclusion 🙂 It keeps me hopeful 🙂

    ohhh that’s nice 🙂

    Like

    • #10 by Sonia on September 8, 2010 - 10:48 am

      And I also feel I jinx myself very easily so now that I have said the above, I dont think its going to work anymore…drats 😉

      😆

      Like

  10. #11 by Chatterbox on September 7, 2010 - 8:50 pm

    I think of the throat infection and get it in no time even without any actual contact with the infected. I know it sounds crazy but it happens all the time.
    Just this Saturday, one of my friends in US (see how far that is from Aus) told me she was down with viral and in two hours time from consoling her irritated self, I was down with fever 😥
    I am not sure if it is in my mind, but it has happened just too many times to make me believe it 😦 😦

    ohhh, sounds bad….hope you are ok now

    Like

  11. #12 by Saritha on September 8, 2010 - 1:05 am

    When i was kid my mom always used to say not to cry,if you cry u will become sick and she still says that when ever i cried i ended up having fever or something or the other.

    I am very emotional person and when i cry the pain is reduced and i feel better.

    sometimes, crying and letting it all out does wonders 🙂

    Like

  12. #13 by Rani on September 8, 2010 - 1:08 am

    Ditto for me.
    I always believed that whenever I’d be too happy, something bad would soon happen.

    I can’t remember when and how, but I stopped believing it. And I like it much better this way 🙂

    We all get what is due to us, our share of happiness and pain. That’s all that makes sense to me now. And true, nothing lasts forever (which is a very good thing). 🙂

    yupe…true

    Like

  13. #14 by Bindhu!! on September 8, 2010 - 1:26 am

    Its the other way for me… When i cry my heart out, I believe something good will happen to balance the negativity… 🙂
    And yeah, I have still not grown up… I still believe in these things… 🙂

    that’s good then 🙂

    Like

  14. #15 by Swaram on September 8, 2010 - 2:18 am

    Oh I hv actually heard many ppl say ‘Don’t laugh so much; u will cry later’. Interesting observations about the ‘this too shall pass’ phase 🙂 🙂

    I guess then I must have heard many people say it that I started believing in it 🙂

    Like

  15. #16 by Scribbler on September 8, 2010 - 3:03 am

    oh certainly it’s right…when you laugh a lot you tend to cry too-ya just to balance it…May be there is this scientific reason behind it 🙂

    I’ve held one superstition all my life long and it refuses to go away from my mind because I keep getting proofs of it every now and then: Whenever I talk about thing relating to my won self-they tend to turn opposite..eg: If I talk a lot about my hair to you some day that how nice they’re or how soft they’re and so….very soon my hair will become unmanageable …no don’t laugh it’s really really true..it happens with me all the time,promise !

    😀 sometimes happens to me too, Nu 😀

    Like

  16. #17 by Elegant Chic on September 8, 2010 - 3:56 am

    Same pinch… even I have felt the same… laugh too much then the next moment I will have something to cry for… I guess it’s a trick played by our minds… dunno… 🙂

    🙂 maybe

    Like

  17. #18 by DI on September 8, 2010 - 4:14 am

    I have the same ‘if I am laughing too much I will cry later’ belief too!
    Other than that, I have tiny little beliefs which are actually totally senseless, and they can even be the kind where I think ‘I will do badly in this exam if I don’t make more than 1500 points in Snake’. Tough to get over, though, these beliefs!

    🙂 yupe, not easy to get over

    Like

  18. #19 by whisperingmoonz on September 8, 2010 - 4:51 am

    Yeah T …even i believe that if we laugh too much.. we end crying after that… Infact even my Mom believes that :/

    another belief i knw itss stupid but it happens with me… weneva i get up in the morning and see my dad’s face i end up having a biggg arguement with him tht day errr… it happens…

    😀 poor dad of yours 😀

    Like

  19. #20 by Priya on September 8, 2010 - 4:54 am

    Well, I too believe that there’s a cycle… joys followed by sorrows! It helps me to stay balanced, to focus on the present and to count my blessings!!

    yupe 🙂

    Like

  20. #21 by celestialrays on September 8, 2010 - 7:40 am

    Many 😛 Too many 😀

    write a post, then 😀

    Like

  21. #22 by liveonimpulse on September 8, 2010 - 9:08 am

    hey loved this post T !! I learnt to cry much later in life ( in my early twenties) ..I grew up thinking i was being quite a coward if I cried.. have learnt to use it to give vent to stress now…

    crying helps at times, it sure does 🙂

    Like

  22. #23 by justaroundme on September 8, 2010 - 11:53 am

    Oh..boy! i do the same thing,i try not to be very happy..sometimes even scared to be happy .But then i read somewhere that it is not a good attitude though – my sister says it is psychological malady and my father says i need to be more optimistic….

    I don’t try not to be happy and all 😀 It’s not fun that way 😀 I just expect something bad to come alone, but that doesn’t stop me from being happy 😛

    Like

  23. #24 by Krags R on September 8, 2010 - 12:16 pm

    Interesting 🙂 … cause, a very similar conversation happened the other day when i gave company to a friend @ a church in pondichery …. the autowala was, as pretty normal here in south India, very involved in propagating Christianity to me throughout the journey that he did not let me leave the auto for a good 15 minutes after we had reached the church… I did give him a theory which i believe, pretty similar to yours here, which probably was something he had never heard of to counter, thereby freeing me :p …
    I don’t really believe in the God coming over to visit us every time we call him when we need something – really, it is a bit insulting to think of the God as some kind of a Super Market in charge / warehouse in charge, who distributes things to everybody who calls the God to get things done effort-free and cost-free … Poor God – How funny does it sound to be a service person to everybody (s)he him(he)self created ?
    Anyways, to me, there is not exactly a need for the God to be present out here – cause the way the world has been created, there is an inherent balance between gain and pain / (efforts and results) in everything that happens, irrespective of the way we look at things. Their form might vary – like a physical gain might compensate for mental efforts / mental peace and gains might compensate a physical workout like in a yoga or meditation … but the inherent balance of things remain balanced irrespective of what occurs and to whom it occurs … smart and simple 🙂 ….

    wise man, wise words 🙂

    Like

  24. #25 by ajay on September 8, 2010 - 3:40 pm

    We do have our quirks and foibles. Even I somehow feel that there’d bad times after good ones but I wonder why does there has to be a balance. The world is not balanced. Universe is not balanced. Anyway, I have this strange habit of writing the number 8 before I start writing paper in exams 🙂 I don’t know how it started but it has got stuck.

    🙂

    Like

  25. #26 by Another Day In Paradise on September 8, 2010 - 11:04 pm

    wont call your belief baseless..some indicators and patterns caused this…and yeah the yin yang of life makes all the difference…T..wishing you a balance of both in fair doses…sometimes I find crying is absolutely cathartic ..

    thanks 🙂

    Like

  26. #27 by priyaiyer on September 9, 2010 - 12:45 am

    same here. when I am extremely happy, I am almost fearful that something will pull me down soon. anyways, I have come to think of it as a way of balancing myself, as you say.

    also, i don’t know why, I believe that my day will not be good if I get up from the bed in the morning on my left side.. I’m biased towards the right. 😛
    I’m also skeptical about separating the two thalis that I wear… Some people wear one in a gold chain and one on a yellow thread; I never seem to be able to do that.. 🙂

    🙂 i didn’t know people wore two 😀

    Like

    • #28 by priyaiyer on September 20, 2010 - 5:15 am

      What I meant was the two pendants in my mangalsutra (thali)…

      ok… 🙂

      Like

  27. #29 by smartassbride on September 9, 2010 - 12:50 am

    i have this : if i say aloud that “hey! we haven’t fought for a long time!”, then there will be a fight almost immediately.

    i also believe in not telling people abt exams i’m writing. i feel if there are too many “all the bests”, it somehow doesn’t go well. and i hate this abt. me 😦

    i also used to believe in not telling people about exams, but i’ve come out of it somehow…although I feel like it used to be better that way 😦

    Like

  28. #30 by zephyr on September 9, 2010 - 7:23 am

    Oh yes, I believe that whenever I relax a little thinking that life is so calm and nice, some catastrophe descends upon me! This has happened unfailingly and is explained as ‘willing something bad to happen.’ They say that if you think about something long and hard enough, it surely ends up happening. These days I try not to feel too relaxed

    🙂

    Like

  29. #31 by binpin on September 9, 2010 - 2:36 pm

    I nearly failed a lab practicals once and never wore the Salwar again and then I failed another sem exam and never wore the salwar I wore to that exam ever again..and soon I realised I would run out of clothing items 🙂 and stopped doing such silly things:)

    😆

    Like

  30. #32 by raji1082 on September 10, 2010 - 2:07 pm

    hi titaxy.. this is the first post of yours which iam reading and it was nice.yes even i belive sometimes about these things. i have noticed that when we are in a sad mood as if we are drowned,that really happens that we recieve a bad news. also sometimes we have these sixth sense predictions of some bad omen ..then too that happens that we get some bad news.

    thank you, raji…welcome!

    Like

  31. #33 by sayamaya on September 11, 2010 - 9:17 pm

    You knw.. I have the exact opposite belief. If i cry, I will surely laugh or something very poignantly cute will happen to me. 🙂

    that’s nice 😀

    Like

  32. #34 by Jyothi on September 12, 2010 - 1:24 am

    “Don’t laugh too much, you will end up crying!” , my mom used to say this too. Infact the days I used to be overactive and jumping around, she was sure that I would fall sick the next day, and it has happened so many times. I don’t know if its a superstition or anything. But, yes, such things in many ways helps you get through life. Never to start anything new on a Tuesday. Early morning dreams come true. If you see snakes in your dream , its a sign of bad luck(unless of course, if you had discussed it during the course of the day), etc…etc.. 🙂

    Cheer up buddy. Life goes on…..If you enjoy the laugh,then just be prepared to bear the tears too. Life is a balance of the two. We can’t stay away from one, because of the fear of the other.

    of course not 😀 fear of grief isn’t going to keep me from laughing out loud, not at all 😀

    Like

  33. #35 by Anonymous on September 16, 2010 - 10:59 am

    I have so many of these beliefs its not even funny! One of the things I believe is, any person that admires and touches one of my earrings, has to touch the other one also since I believe it will fall away otherwise 🙂

    Crying at the end of a good laughing session, totally with you on that!

    ahhh, that’s an interesting one 😀 Welcome!

    Like

  34. #36 by Reema on September 30, 2010 - 2:14 pm

    oh I have many quirks..won’t call them baseless beliefs though. Don’t worry about the future..live in the moment!

    🙂

    Like

  35. #37 by Matt on August 21, 2012 - 9:32 am

    Why do all girls tell the same? “Hey don’t make me laugh so much, I sure am gonna cry a lot tomorrow! ” …. Eh? * blank face* 😐 😐

    err, i don’t know. it’s all the girls, eh?

    Like

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