I wished you were here

Even though what I heard yesterday should’ve been one of the happiest news of my life, it brought only so much joy. Yes, I smiled as K uttered those very words that I’ve been waiting to hear for few years now. Yes, I was pleased to know that he was taking a step forward and was trying to build a life. Yes, I congratulated him wholeheartedly.

But my eyes filled with tears as I did all those.

I’ve always imagined how this day would come to be and never once did I see it without you in it. It was supposed to be your big news. How can I not have wondered how this would all be if you were here? How can I not have wished that you were here to live your dreams?

As crazy as it may sound, I still wake up some days thinking that whatever happened was just a nightmare. I can still picture you – the last time I saw you; the last talk we had; the last time I chat with you – everything. And yet, I can’t get my mind around the fact that those were the last times. I pray that you are just playing a cruel joke and that someday I will receive a call from you or see a mail from you telling me what you are up to. So, on days like those, news like this comes as a wake up call that it’s time to move on and that there’s no more hope.

Tell me then, how was I not supposed to feel a pang on my chest all the while feeling extremely glad as K makes this big leap? It was a confusing moment. And I wished you were here.

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  1. #1 by revsjoiedevivre on November 2, 2010 - 3:36 pm

    (hugs)

    thanks!

    Like

  2. #2 by Bikram on November 2, 2010 - 3:56 pm

    God bless Titaxy..

    Take care of yourself

    Bikram’s

    🙂

    Like

  3. #3 by anisnest on November 2, 2010 - 7:31 pm

    feel better T… time heals most of the things in our life…

    hmmm…thanks 🙂

    Like

  4. #4 by Scribbler on November 2, 2010 - 7:58 pm

    [is it about shree ? ]

    congratulations and best wishes to K !

    Hold on yourself ! HUGS !

    yes, thanks!

    Like

  5. #5 by SG on November 2, 2010 - 8:12 pm

    I wish I were there to witness this big leap.

    🙂

    Like

  6. #6 by Swaram on November 2, 2010 - 10:48 pm

    Hugs T!
    Wishing K the best of luck!

    thank you!

    Like

  7. #7 by comfortablynam on November 2, 2010 - 11:59 pm

    Hugs T..

    thanks!

    Like

  8. #8 by deviantwave on November 3, 2010 - 12:11 am

    I dunno the context .. but I know the feeling T …. I wake up to days like these often these days .. the day I held Tammna for the first hiom .. I wished Y was there with me .. standing behind and assuring me like each time that everything would be great.. I miss him so bad that somedays I don’t know what to do apart from missing him .. if u know what i mean …

    I breathe on those days .. but somewhere I cant live ……

    hugs!

    Like

  9. #9 by Krags R on November 3, 2010 - 2:03 am

    as long as hearts beat for somebody, that somebody would jus be around those hearts – even if not with a physical presence ! u just need to feel it …
    btw, hearty congrats 🙂 !

    thanks for the wishes

    Like

  10. #10 by piyu on November 3, 2010 - 2:13 am

    :(. Hugs.

    thank you!

    Like

  11. #11 by Psych Babbler on November 3, 2010 - 3:10 am

    *Hugs* T…Bitter-sweet moments…

    Take care…

    thanks Psych..

    Like

  12. #12 by Sonia on November 3, 2010 - 4:46 am

    Confused hoon 😦 Hope you are doing okay now..

    i’m fine now, thanks Sonia 🙂

    Like

  13. #13 by celestialrays on November 3, 2010 - 9:35 am

    Hugs! I cannot say anything more…

    thanks!

    Like

  14. #14 by sayamaya on November 3, 2010 - 12:59 pm

    I am happy for K… I get how you feel… 😦

    incidentally, isnt there a ‘K’ in your life as well? 🙂

    🙂 many Ks in my life

    Like

  15. #15 by bitsofchocolate on November 3, 2010 - 2:49 pm

    Hugs

    Eventually, we are supposed to traverse all possible paths – if not this time, then some other time

    thanks!

    Like

  16. #16 by Harini on November 3, 2010 - 4:28 pm

    I really dont know anything about it but *hugs*.

    thanks!

    Like

  17. #17 by Achu on November 4, 2010 - 10:14 am

    Lots of hugs!!

    I know how you must be feeling 😦

    thank you dear

    Like

  18. #18 by Nilu on November 9, 2010 - 12:17 am

    Didn’t understand anything…but know the feeling of “missing”. Take care! Hope you’ll get that surprise email or call soon. Meanwhile, congrats to K!

    thank you!

    Like

  19. #19 by Nuttie Natters on November 10, 2010 - 11:30 pm

    T – wow…u put things so beautiful…i dont know the context..but i hope life and god gives u the strength to be strong!

    thanks!

    Like

  20. #20 by Reema on November 12, 2010 - 3:42 am

    take care ((hugs))

    thanks!

    Like

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