To be able to wake up at a decent hour so as to not rush in the mornings is a boon in itself. I haven’t done that in years. For me mornings typically entail only of going from a half-sleepy state to an I’m-running-late-I-have-to-hurry state within half hour of opening my eyes. I’ve wanted to change this time and again, and make it a custom of relishing the whole waking up and starting a whole new day experience. I kept putting that task off to the proverbial ‘tomorrow’, however, to get those few extra minutes of sleep bestowed upon my nightly slumber accomplishment slate that sometimes ran into the double digit hours.
You see, it’s not that I am incapable of doing that for whatever reason; it’s merely that I am extremely lazy. Even this morning I woke up at 430. Yes, that early – without forcing myself, without any alarms, without anyone trying their best to get me out of bed, without any pressing work to be completed – I opened my eyes and felt fresh as a daisy even before the sun kissed the city’s skyline. It happens, rarely. Nonetheless, it was futile because I ended up spending the next few hours in bed tossing and turning contemplating how to best utilize the extra hours. And, before I knew it, there went the said extra hours bidding me goodbye. Frustrated with myself for neither dozing off nor spending the time wisely, I went back to sleep after I spotted sun’s magical rays win its sweet quarrel with the window shades. Heights of laziness, no?
What I want, though, is to be able to wake up at a reasonable hour, maybe make my breakfast, maybe meditate a bit, maybe spend a little time reading to get my mind into a calm state, maybe just sit by the window and watch the rain or snow fall, maybe do some low intensity exercise, maybe listen to some soft music, maybe this, maybe that – basically do whatever my whims are at that particular instant before I earmark the last half hour for showering and priming. I’ve realized when I do this I am much less cranky than if I were to madly go about getting ready robotically.
And to head towards that path, I think I have taken the first baby step.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve been trying to assimilate some of the above mentioned acts to my otherwise mundane morning routine. The caveat here is that I get out of bed at my regular hour, not a minute early, and do all that I fancy before heading into work. Of course that means I end up at the office later than most people. Thankfully, work hours are flexible enough and I login in the mornings, along with fulfilling my other impromptu wishes, to finish up anything that may require immediate attention.
While this takes me one step closer to my goal, I don’t want to set the tone this way.
Next, I want to slightly tweak this pattern to accommodate an early-to-rise practice. I want to be active an hour or two before my current schedule and go around doing whatever I’ve been doing the last few weeks. Is this too much to ask? Why does my heart fervently desire it while my mind/body puts up a fierce battle every morning as if it’s starved of sleep? How much time before this gratuitous scuffle settles? Hopefully, not long…