Archive for category Scary

Dear Boston

My heart goes out to you, my beloved city. You are in my thoughts, today and always.

I love you. Stay safe.





Scary Nights

It’s nighttime, and just the thought that roommate isn’t at home bothers me. Yes, darkness scares me a little.

I had dinner, cleaned the dishes, filled my water bottle and locked myself in my room hours ago…that way I don’t have to go out to the living room or kitchen until the morning hits and there’s plenty of light. I read, watch a few episodes of FRIENDS, read some more, when I get this craving for milk. I tell myself that it will go away, I continue entertaining myself, I do this and that to get my mind off it. But that stubborn craving doesn’t want to leave me alone, so I cave in.

I gather enough courage and open the door. I see the living room lights on; my hearts starts racing.

“What’s going on? Roommate isn’t supposed to be back for another day. And even if she did come back early, I must have heard something – which I definitely didn’t. Why / how are the lights on? What should I do? Call security? Get out of the apartment first?…………………”

Million questions. Ten million answers. All in a matter of fraction of seconds.

I walk out of the room. Two steps into the living room, I realize that I left the lights on before going in. Just in case I had to step out of the room at night.

Phew! Relax! I tell myself. But, I can still hear my own heart beating like crazy…until I come back with the milk and close the door to my room. It’s all good now…heart is calm, mind is quiet.

I read, watch a few episodes of FRIENDS, read some more, when I get this craving…this time for ice-cream.

And the above scene recurs; ditto, frame to frame.

I am not too sharp, I tell ya. This repeating one or two times would have been fine. But I’ve been reacting the same way every single time I’ve walked out of my room in the past two nights. While my brain can spill out infinite number of thoughts in unimaginable speed when it senses something wrong, it can’t keep itself from overreacting. I wonder why.



Thank you, stranger!

It was a beautiful Saturday – relaxing start to the day, perfect weather, fun evening plans – I couldn’t ask for more!  After waking up late morning and having a nice breakfast, I set out on a drive to the beautiful mountains in New Hampshire to enjoy an evening of skiing at Pats Peak. Saying I couldn’t contain the delight (and the fear, of course!) would be an understatement because I’ve been looking forward to trying skiing. And the evening didn’t disappoint me; it was the ideal way to spend time.

The evening/night lights across the mountain range, pristine snow flakes falling down from the sky onto the already white layered mountains, the moon and the stars fighting clouds and fog to shine upon the beautiful world beneath, and everything else made the already perfect evening more wonderful, if at all that’s possible. And so, my happiness had no bounds. As much as I was afraid to ski down the slopes at first, I overcame it (thanks to the one who was patiently teaching me the basic maneuvers, couldn’t have done it otherwise!), and did a much better job than the first time I went skiing.

So after hours and hours of fun – falling down, crashing into other novices, breaking bones (ok, this might be an exaggeration), working all the muscles in the body and draining every bit of energy – I sat down to relax when I realized that my wallet was missing from my jacket pocket. The zipper was open and the wallet was gone. And there was no way to find out where I might have dropped it. Bummer. I sat there in shock for a while before I took decided to walk around looking for it. But, as I already mentioned, I was totally exhausted and even one step forward wearing those ski boots required so much of work. So I stood there…wondering what to do, trying to recall everything that was in the wallet…with tears flowing down my eyes. Yes, I’m weak like that…even the littlest things can trigger water works :P. But hey, this was no small issue I had in my hands – I had some very important documents in my wallet (insurance cards, credit/debit cards, IDs, etc.), some of which would cost me a lot of time and hundreds of dollars to replace. So you can understand my agony, right?

Anyway, it was almost time to leave, so there wasn’t much hope of finding it that night. P walked around for a long time tracing my steps to see if was still around somewhere, but that hard work didn’t yield anything either. And I cried more. As there was a time crunch (the place was closing any minute now), the only option we were left with was to leave for the night and come back in the morning to search more. As a final try, P went to the lost and found office at Pats Peak to check if they had it but unfortunately no one had turned it in, so he came back after letting them know that we were missing my wallet and giving them a brief description and contact info in case someone finds it.

And that was my Saturday – happiness and grief all on the same day. After getting back home past midnight, with no hope of seeing my wallet again, I started researching on processes and procedures to replace all the lost content before dozing off for the night to see nightmares aplenty.

And what Sunday had in store for me made me one happy soul. I woke up to a call from Pats Peak’s management office (Thank you!!!) letting me know that someone turned in my wallet. No better way to wake up from a disturbed night’s sleep, I tell you. I was sooooooooooo relieved, to say the least. And thanks to you, whoever found it and took the time to hand it over to the right people.


Dear stranger,

You made my day yesterday with one kind act of yours and for that I must thank you. We don’t know each other, but that didn’t prevent you from helping me; so it sure shouldn’t stop me from you how grateful I am. Yes, I understand that you might never read this, and even if you did you might not realize that I am talking about you…still I have to write it down for my own sake, for various reasons.

First, I want to thank you…for being so thoughtful, for taking the time to pick up a fallen possession of someone else, for putting in the efforts to returning it to the lost and found office. A simple thank you won’t suffice for all that tension you’ve saved me from. But for now, that’s all I have…those two words…Thank you!

Also, I want to make a note of how the world is full of nice people like you so I can come back to it if and when life manages to pull me to the other side. One selfless deed of yours is enough to reassure me of my belief that, in general, people are helpful and trustworthy.

And your kind act only motivates me to do something similar whenever I can…to help others in the smallest ways possible, to “pay it forward”, to be considerate, to do something without expecting anything in return, etc.

Thank you! You’ve been of a great help, you have no idea :).



“How bad could it be?”…

…is what I thought while starting a short hike into the jungle all by myself. Everything from a mosquito to a butterfly scares me, true. But I assumed I could handle them all this time around. And I was right. None of those insects bothered me and when they did I was brave enough to shoo them away…

A few mins later, I spotted a snake crossing my path just a few feet ahead. A little one, sure, but a scary one nonetheless…I stopped for few seconds, gathered my breath and told myself that this was it. That this was the worst that could happen. That there could not be anything scarier waiting for me.

I start walking with a great sense of accomplishment. If I could handle that, I can handle it all, I assumed.

And that’s when it hit me that I couldn’t be more wrong. Few steps more and I spotted this. This crawling creature that looked like it belongs to the lizard family was more than enough to scare me to death.

Scary as hell...

Scary as hell...

After this, I didn’t dare look down even once before I met with MD, who hiked from the other end of the loop. The walk from the point I spotted thing to when I spotted MD was scary as hell. I felt like there were lizards crawling all over me. Of course, there was nothing, but that’s how paranoid I was.

The only things (??) that have the power to halt my heart beat are lizards / roaches. Not sure if I will ever get over this fear!!!


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